Imago is a novel form of couples' therapy created by Dr. Harville Hendrix and his wife, Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt. With Imago, couples are given tools and techniques to work through their individual traumas together, often strengthening their bond and rekindling their relationship in the process. 

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According to Harville Hendrix PH.D, Imago theory is based on the paradigm that being in a relationship is what most people want.

 That connecting is being.

Meaning: "To be in connection is to be, and to be, is to be in connection"!

We are born into a relationship, injured in a relationship (about 96% of us), so it makes sense that our recovery will happen in a relationship.

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Most people don't realize that:

LIVING WITH ANOTHER PERSON, who until recently was a stranger, is one of the hardest things to do.

 

SPEAKING - TALKING, may be one of the most dangerous things we can do (life and death are in the hand of the tongue).

 

LISTENING - REAL LISTENING, is hardly occurring. How many of us felt truly listen to in our childhood by our care takers, and how many of us walk in the world feeling really listen to by our partner?

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Everyone has their own logic and opinion that is true for them. But what is true for you might be different than what is true for me. In a relationship, such differences of perspective and opinion can be especially frustrating. And when we are in a relationship and get frustrated with our partner, we may say hurtful things, or say things in a way that makes our partner feel offended, insulted, shamed, criticized, judged, and blamed.

Even though we all want to have a good relationship – a fun, accepting, loving, and fulfilling relationship – we find ourselves dealing with conflicts that stem from the differences between us. And when we are frustrated, we express our frustration in a way that evokes negative emotions. Then the relationship is negatively affected, and all the great feelings that we experienced during the beginning of the relationship, the phase of falling in love, get contaminated.

If these frustrating episodes keep happening, the relationship starts to tear apart. It can cause anxiety, it brings on a fear that maybe the relationship is about to end, that we made a mistake in choosing this person, or we might conclude that it is a sign that we were not really meant to be together.

Are these conclusions correct?

Will leaving the current relationship ensure that the same will not happen in the next one?

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